Home Sweet Home

Lucy and Hannah - reunited!

My beautiful girls on the beach!

It's been a long journey...

Rita joins other China Girls to celebrate Moon Festival

crafts!

spending time with Michelle and Steve at O'Hare

Lucy with some dancers at the airport

settling in for a LONG flight

Passing the time with friends at the Hong Kong airport

Rita LOVES to swim

We've been back in Orlando for over a week now, so its probably time for me to do a post! (Although I continue to be shocked, yet grateful, that people take the time to read this blog!)

Should I even talk about the 14 hour plane ride home with 2 children? Actually it wasn't that bad. We totally trashed the back row of the plane (row 61!) but we made it to Chicago safe and sound. I expected that Rita would spend the entire flight on Chris's lap. I was pleasantly surprised about 6 hours in that she decided to have a little Mommy-time. She is always willing to play with me, but rarely wanting to sit on my lap. I cherish every moment she chooses to share with me!

We were very surprised to find Steve and Michelle waiting at the Chicago airport to greet us. They drove 3+ hours up from Indianapolis to give us a grand welcome. Unfortunately, I was a bit distracted when I saw them because I was searching the airport for the PERSON WHO TOOK RITA'S PASSPORT! We had taken the coveted and irreplaceable "brown envelope" through all the checkpoints. We finally got it to its finally resting place and were waiting for our names to be called. Finally we heard our name and approached the desk to get Rita's passport. It was gone. The guy behind the desk says "Huh. Someone must have taken it." WHAT?? I was pretty freaked out. I thought he had lost our entire packet! Panic. Turns out that the only thing taken was Rita's Chinese passport and visa. Eventually we figured out that a) we did not need it to leave the airport and b) it was taken by another family in our group by accident. It has since been mailed back to us. Whew!

The rental car place did not have the car seat we requested so I sat in the backseat with Rita on my lap as we drove to my parents. It was the best ever! (Aside from me being paranoid about getting in an accident or being pulled over.) By the time we got to Mom and Dad's, Rita and I were best friends! It was so great for me to get to carry my new daughter into my parents house. It would have been fine if Chris had carried her, but it was really special for me to do it. She was in a GREAT mood when we got there. She was doling out kisses and hugs and headbutts by the dozen. She was charming, to say the least!

Rita got to meet TONS of relatives over the weekend. We went to Lake Geneva to celebrate my parent's 80th birthdays. Even though we were really tired and jet-lagged, it was a great weekend. We actually managed the jet lag better this time than we did with Lucy's trip. The only "complaint" I have is the baggage management. Yowzers we've got a lot of stuff! I could happily go another year without packing or unpacking another bag! (Unless there is a cruise involved.)

One of the highlights of our trip (for me) was a girl's afternoon out. I got up early to go to Clare's (my "niece") baby shower, I got back around 12:30 and my family was still snoozing! When Rita finally woke up, we didn't let her see Chris. Lucy and I took her on an outing with my sister, niece and mother. She did great! Again, I got lots of lovin'. She is definitely a monogamous girl. If she is with daddy, she does not want anyone else. Turns out, if she happens to be with me (no daddy) she only wants me. She will still flirt and play with others, but she won't let anyone else hold her or push her stroller.

On Monday we got back on a plane and headed to Orlando. We finally made it to our home around 8:30 pm. Imagine my surprise to find a refrigerator filled with Cracker Barrel food (meatload, corn, potatoes...), my counter covered with snacks (including Rita's favorite - pringles!) and wonderful kid surprises like sticker books and bubbles. There was even fresh fruit! What a thoughtful thing to do! This was the work of "row 2 plus a few", a handlful of wonderful and talented women that I met a few years ago singing with Encore. Gretchen was helping us out by bringing in our mail. She masterminded the whole thing.

In addition, the lovely and talented Shannan had set up our table with matching kids plates, bowls, coloring books, crayons and balloons. Does it get any better than that? Actually, it does! In each girl's bedroom was a holloween tote back filled with tons of goodies. Feather boa (what girl doesn't need that?) stuffed pluto, fairy wings, ballet skirt, jump rope... As I am writing this I am realizing that I don't actually know who did this. Shannan, was this you? I was so overwhelmed (and tired) by all of these amazing surprises that I'm not even sure where they all came from! Seriously, don't I have the best friends in the world??

So, we got home Monday evening and I was back to work Tuesday morning. Uhg. The ad sales must go on. It was such a luxury to stay home with Lucy for the first 4 weeks. I'd give my left arm. Unfortunatley, even my left arm isn't going to get me any days off!

Chris has been staying home with Rita while I've been trying to establish a new routine for our new and improved family. All things considered, I'd say we are doing pretty well. Chris is really ready for Rita to start daycare. I am really ready for a free weekend! Last weekend we journied to Ormond Beach for Moon Festival. It was really fun to see all our China friends, but I could have done without another round of packing and unpacking!

Lucy is handling things like a champ. She is having some regression issues, but nothing we didn't expect. She called me at work yesterday around 4:00. She was crying and saying "Mommy, I need you!" Who could possibly resist that? I went home and gave my big girl some extra lovin'. After that, she was fine for the rest of the evening. She and Rita are hilarious together! Monkey see, monkey do! Rita tries to do everything her big sister does. They are dancing, twirling, booty-shaking little monkeys! They had a really good time playing on the beach together last weekend. We had a full 3 hours of Mommy/Lucy/Rita beach time. I have a nasty sunburn on my back, but it was totally worth it!

Did I mention that Rita pee peed on the potty this morning? She is a genius. We threw a big pee pee party.

Tomorrow is Rita's first day at daycare. Wish us luck! I expect she will be fine after her first hour. I expect I will be a mess the entire day.

Rita and Mommy had a good day!

Lots of encouraging moments today!
1. This morning all 4 of us snuggled in bed as we were waking up (around 4:30). Rita gave me extra snuggles and extra kisses. She let me hold her and play with her more than usual. The key part is that she let me hold her without touching Chris.
2. She spent a lot more time with me at breakfast. Chris went off to get his omelet and she wasn’t too concerned. Well, at least not the first couple of times!
3. She sat on my lap for some photos at the White Swan. I have the photos to prove it!
4. She sat on my lap during part of lunch (at Lucy’s Café!) Actually, she sat on my lap twice without complaining. Although the second time she was eating apple pie and ice cream so I think she would have been okay sitting on Godzilla’s lap. Hey Mama Rita – Li’l Rita likes apple ale mode too! I’m going to post a photo of this and I don’t even care that I’m wearing my glasses and my bra strap is showing.
5. She sat on my lap a little bit in the cab. Not touching daddy.
6. She got upset when daddy scolded her today. She let me pick her up and comfort her. That was the best!!
7. I took her away from daddy to bring her to the restroom to change her diaper. No crying! Only giggling!
8. Later I took a crying Rita away from daddy (who had had enough!) to the bathroom with me. She calmed right down and thoroughly enjoyed wasting about 3 yards of the hotels toilet paper. Giggling!
9. This evening Chris was relaxing on the bed while I was all over the place trying to get this mess packed. She followed me around like a little puppy dog! It was truly adorable. She had no interest in getting on the bed with Chris.
10. When Chris went down to settle up with the hotel, I bathed both the girls, washed their hair, lotioned ‘em up, and got their jammies on. No problem!
This may all seem minor to you, but it is huge to me. I think she is starting to forget that she’s not supposed to like me. I know that tomorrow it could all change, but it was still a good day. I am looking forward to more good days.
Did I mention her hilarious laugh? She opens her mouth really big and breathes in, making this really funny nasal noise. It cracks me up!
I just spent my very last 52 Chinese yuan on the tackiest “Burberry London” t-shirt you have ever seen! I had to unload the money, plus I don’t have a single clean (or even remotely passable) short sleeve shirt. It has rhinestones on it. It is an XL and it is still tight. I’m gonna be one hot mama wearing that beauty tomorrow!
We need to be out of our room at 5:30 tomorrow morning. I expect tomorrow will be one of the longest days of my life. 3 hour bus ride to Hong Kong. All luggage off the bus for customs, then back on. Luggage back off at the airport. 13 hour flight with 2 tired and cranky girls, plus their tired and cranky daddy. Good times!
I’ll try to post from Chicago to let you know if all 4 of us survived the journey! Thank you so much for reading my blog. Now, feed your children and clean your house. Seriously, don’t you have better things to do?
Love and kisses (not the head butt kind) to all of you!

Rita has a passport!

This morning at 9:00 am we supposedly had a US Consulate appointment. Because we are working through an agency, we do a bunch of paperwork that allows the agency representative to attend the appointment for us. Then all the parents go to the Consulate the following day to show their faces, take an oath and get the baby's passports/visas.
Turns out, we didn’t actually have an appointment. According to Amy, our guide, AWAA sent a request to the consulate for 9 appointments and they approved 8 of them. Ours was not approved because of some missing paperwork. I am guessing that the missing paperwork was Chris’s fingerprints since there were some complications with those. I did receive an email from our agency that our appointment was approved. I double checked. I’m not sure why they told us that we had approval. Obviously someone wasn’t paying attention. It all worked out okay though. According to Amy, in all the years she has worked for AWAA, this has never happened. However, the US Consulate still allowed her to submit our request for the passport/visa. Amy must have told me 4 times how lucky we were. (Once again, covered in grace.)
There were two other families that had some issues with their paperwork. It was pretty scary because if the paperwork isn’t exactly right you can be turned down for a passport/visa. You are still the legal parent of that child (that happened on Tuesday) you just can’t take them into the US. Amy definitely earned her money today! I am happy to say that the entire group finally got approved. This is NOT something that you take for granted!
Normally we would go the consulate the following day to do the oath, but they had us come this afternoon. It was nice to have the security of getting the passport a day early.
I was freakishly emotional at the Consulate. I cannot remember if I was like that with Lucy or not. I’ll have to go back and read my Lucy blog! I’m guessing that I was. I kept looking around and seeing all these families who have been through so much to bring these children home. Some of these families have been in the process over 5 years. Each has their own story about what they went through and how they came to the decision to adopt. There were old families, young families, families with multiple kids, rich families, poor families, single parent families. And the children were just as varied. Some were older and had been waiting for a family for a long time. Some were tiny little babies (whose parents had been waiting a long time!) There were cleft babies, heart babies, boys, girls and one young lady (about 9 or so) who was in a wheel chair. I wondered what her story was and how she came to her family. I can tell you that her family looked awfully happy to have her! Anyway, I just found the whole thing very emotional. And I couldn’t help but think about the thousands of children who will never have families. Even knowing that, this process is so grueling and so long that I know in my heart we will not do it again. It’s not that we wouldn’t be happy to parent 3 children (Although we’ve got our hands full with the two we’ve got!) we just don’t have what it takes to go through it again. And, we’re old.
Miss Rita is doing very well. She has finally figured out how to give kisses without incorporating a head butt. However, you never know which is coming so you have to be prepared. She also likes to grab my nose to see what noise I will make. Considering the state of my nose these days it can be pretty painful, but I make noises anyway because I love to see her laugh!
She laughs a lot. She is a funny girl! She and Lucy crack each other up. Rita is doing great with me. She easily lets me change her diaper and dress her. She plays with me in the room without any concern as to where Chris is. She lets me pick her up and put her down, sometimes with the occasional hug. She gives me TONS of kisses! But she still won’t let me carry her, or push her stroller or sit on my lap on the bus or during meals. Chris is clearly her main man. I’m not hurt by this (the kisses make up for it) but I am a tiny big concerned. The hardest part is that she won’t let me comfort her when she is upset. It is really tough to see your baby cry and not be able to help her. Even though Lucy was letting me carry her at this point, we didn’t totally bond until we spent 4 weeks at home together while Chris went to work. This time I will go right back to work while Chris gets to spend two days a week with the girls. This certainly isn’t going to advance my case much further! However, there is nothing I can do about this except trust and be patient. Poor Chris is worn out.
Lucy and I did a quick mommy/daughter shopping trip this afternoon so she could pick out souvenirs for Miss Rita and Mr. Cha Cha (her teachers). She needs alone time because she is constantly competing with Rita for our attention. I let her get a pair or squeaky shoes. I had a weak moment. But she was SO EXCITED to get them! She was so proud as she squeak, squeak, squeaked her way around that store. I am pretty sure that everyone else in that store wanted to choke me for letting her wear them, but I’ll never see them again. They live in China! We’ll let her get in a couple good days of squeak, then we’ll remove the squeakers.
Last thing. I have to tell the cutest moment of the day. Rita was napping but it was time to wake her up. Lucy crawled into the crib and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Rita opened her eyes, and then gave a big smile. Then she sat up and immediately lunged at Lucy with a big head-butt kissy. Both girls started giggling.

Another Good Day!

Every day we become more and more of a family. Today was a nice, relaxed day. We were at the BBB (yep, big breakfast buffet) by 7 am. We hung out there until close to 10 because a) there is a play area b) the girls are more grazers than full-on eaters and c) it is nice to spend time with the other families.
We are learning what Rita will and won't eat. She is much pickier than Lucy was. She will eat watermelon and yogurt and white rice. You can count on those three things. Other than that, you just don't know. She will NOT eat chicken mcnuggets. Can't say that I blame her.
I didn't get a lot of play time with Rita this morning because this mucus infestation is seriously kicking my hiney. Fortunately one of the other mommys (thank you Dawn!) gave me some sudafed and vitamin C powder. Sudafed is the only thing that seems to give me some releif. By 2:00 I was starting to feel human again.
Lucy spent most of the afternoon on a "playdate" with Natalie. Thank you Natalie's mommy! The girls watched movies, colored and played. It gave me a chance to rest and hang out with Rita without Lucy getting jealous.
At 2:00 we met up with 3 other families and took the subway to an interesting shopping plaza. Chris found out about it from another family at breakfast. It was fun to take the subway and get out on our own a bit. The shopping plaza was pretty unique. I don't even know how to describe it. Think of an 8 story flea market where each shop specializes in 1 thing, like hairbows or stuffed animals or kids' backpacks. The prices were super cheap, but so was the merchandise. We did buy a couple of Disney puzzles and some Barbie stickers, but that was it. It is the kind of place where you could put together excellent goodie bags for your kid's birthday party.
When we got back to the hotel we all met up at the pool. Unfortunately I left Rita's swimsuit in Chicago. I'll have to buy one tomorrow because she LOVED the water! Loved it! Just like Lucy, she couldn't wait to get in and had a huge grin on her face the whole time. I probably shouldn't have let her swim without her suit and water diapers, but she was sooooo excited about it. I didn't have a suit (not because I forgot but because some things should remain covered at all times) but I sat on the edge with her. I got drenched but I didn't care. If I had let her she would have dived in head first. Two risk-takers under the age of 5. Yikes.
The pool was really fun because it was the most close time that I've had with her without her daddy. He was in the pool with Lucy. She was perfectly happy hanging out with me. Yippee!
After the pool we ordered pizza with the other families and waited and hour and a half for it. It was totally worth the wait. Rita wasn't too interested in the pizza, but Lucy chowed on 2 pieces! Apparently swimming makes her hungry. Rita ate another (3rd one today?) container of yogurt.
Would you like to hear some cute things that Rita is doing? Sure you would! Today Lucy gave me a big kissy. Immediatly after Rita ran right up to give me a kiss too. I guess she didn't want to be left out. (it was a real kiss without the head butt!)
She says her name so well! She knows it is her because she'll say REEETTAAA and point to herself. She can also identify Daddy, Mommy and Lucy.
She likes to make animal noises.
Lucy was a bit of a pill today. After putting on her night clothes she decided to start layering them with more night clothes. Guess who did the same? Rita went to her drawer and pulled out more pajamas and started layering them on. She is soooo "monkey see, monkey do!"
Did I mention that she has peed in the potty twice? Chris' idea, but he was right on. She is definitely ready for potty training.
She's just cute. Really cute - especially when she laughs. Oh, and her skin is looking much better! She had a ton of ugly bumps on her feet, knees and diaper area when we first met. They are pretty much gone. I'm not sure why because we haven't done much to treat them. We'll ask our doctor about it to make sure they don't come back.
She has a ton of mongolian spots. They are on her back, neck and even her legs and ankles. They look like big bruises. They are not harmful in any way, but can be pretty shocking if you don't know that they aren't bruises. She has some other strange circular marks on her back. I'm not sure what they are, but they don't look irritated or painful so I'm not going to worry about them until we get home.
I'm still not carrying her around and she won't let me push her in the stroller. Chris is clearly her security, but she is spending lots of fun time with me. Works for me!

Good Day

We had a nice day today. We did not have to be anywhere until 1:00 (hooray!) so we had a nice leisurely big breakfast buffet and played in the play area. Rita plays with me no problem. We had lots of fun stacking plastic donuts. We tickled and giggled. She lets me pick her up and put her down, but she still won’t let me carry her for more than a few seconds. She is really attached to her daddy!
She keeps giving me kisses, but they aren’t regular kisses. Basically she gives a head butt with a kissing noise. Her lips make the noise, but her head makes the contact. It’s a little painful, but adorable.
The other thing that cracks me up is that she is always happy to see me. She lights up when she sees me but she just won’t let me hold her. Chris is really ready to have a big more freedom. He keeps suggesting that she come to me, but I really think it needs to be her decision. It might take a while, but I really think she will just come to me one day when she is ready. She is very snuggly with Chris, which I know he loves, but also wears him out. She is climbing on him even as I type!
At 1:00 today we went back to the medical clinic to have their TB tests checked. Two little girls had to have chest x-rays based on their test, but both x-rays turned out to be negative. Thank the Lord! I know it was pretty scary for those two children. Apparently there was a child yesterday (not in our group) who tested positive and had to go to the hospital. I’m not sure how that effects the family leaving the country. I’m just grateful the Rita is healthy.
After the medical check we went to the Red Swan hotel for the traditional red couch photos. Then we hit the souvenir shops. Lucy spent her hard earned money on a blue Chinese fan. Then we bought a few gifts and souvenirs. When you can buy kids shoes for $4 a pair, you kinda have to buy a couple! Lucy and Rita both got little china girl outfits with the poofy skirts. I think I paid $6 each.
After shopping we met 2 other families for dinner at a Thai Restaurant. We had heard from other adoptive families that the Cow and Bridge (or Bridge and Cow?) was a good place. It was! I really enjoyed the food and the chance to socialize with a couple other mommies. There hasn’t been much time for the social aspects this time. One of the other families has a 5 year old girl. Lucy is smitten. The two of them had fun at dinner, and then walked around holding hands and giggling. They have a play date at the pool tomorrow. I am glad Lucy will get to spend time with someone her age. Rita really roughed her up this afternoon. There was much hair pulling and crying.
When we got back to the room the girls had a blast in the bathtub. The tub is next to the shower, and the whole thing is encompassed in glass. This allows them to splash and throw water everywhere without doing any damage. One of the glass walls backs up to the bed. Chris and I had a blast sitting on the bed and watching them splash and giggle. Rita’s whole face just lights up when she is having fun.
Hopefully I will be able to post some photos. You will notice that Rita is wearing uneven but adorable pigtails!! (Oh, and if you are very observant you might notice that my bangs are shorter. Did you know that it is possible to give yourself a haircut with a pair of child’s nail cutters? It is!)
I look forward to more family time tomorrow. Hopefully we will continue to make progress.

Bonus Blog - Rita the Destroyer!

Did I mention the television in Xi’an? It sits in the bedroom on the dresser on top of a “lazy susan” type stand. At about 5:00 in the morning I hear a huge crash. I walk into the bedroom to find the television face down on the floor and my toddler standing in her crib with a smile on her face. Yep – Rita rocketed that tv right onto the floor. Fortunately the glass was not cracked, but the frame sure was. Chris had to finagle the frame back into place, but there was nothing we could do about the crack. The television still works so we are hopeful not to receive yet another unexpected bill.
Yesterday she broke the porcelain spoon at the restaurant.
This morning she broke her cereal bowl. Then she peed all over our white down comforter (I’m blaming Chris for that one!)
This afternoon she colored one of the white comforters and several areas of crisp white sheet with blue magic marker. Turns out that whitening toothpaste is your best defense against magic marker. We figured that out after much trial and error.
So… we’re down one tv, one spoon, one bowl and one nice set of linens. Good thing she’s very cute!

I'm a lousy speller. Other than that, it was a good day

Chris and the girls must have gone to breakfast sometime around 6:30. I was oblivious, thanks to my alka-seltzer pm. I woke up at 8:30 feeling a bit like I'd been hit by a tank. We needed to be out the door at 9:30 so I got ready pretty quickly. By the time I got down to breakfast (yep, the big breakfast buffet) Chris and the girls were done. As I stumbled around the buffet area looking for coffee, I was approached by Lineker, the AWAA guide in charge at Guangzhou. "I have bad news" he says. Oh great. Apparently Chris's middle name is misspelled on our adoption certificate, which makes it invalid.

Because we skipped Beijing not only did we miss the information about exchanging our money, we missed the 30 minute lecture from Lineker about going over the adoption certificate letter by letter. I did review the certificate, and I did discover that Chris's passport number was wrong. I did not discover that I spelled his middle name "Jonathon." oops. Our guide also reviewed the paperwork but she was checking against an email where I apparently also misspelled Jonathan. At least I am consistent.

The good news is that it can be fixed, and that we do not need to travel back to Xi'an, which is what I was afraid of. The bad news is that it is going to cost money, which we are out of. I don't know how much money but I am sure we will figure it all out. Rea, our guide in Xi'an was able to get the Civil Affairs office to open today (Sunday) to start the process, so we are feeling pretty lucky. It should be done in time for us to leave China on Friday. I've always been a terrible speller, I just didn't think it was going to come between me and my Rita.

On another note, but similar vein, hindsight is definitely darn close to 20/20. If I had it to do differently I may have made some different choices about this trip. Who knew? Chris has been great about reinforcing the choices we made and helping me to look forward, not back. Love that about him!

This morning we went to the Folk Art Museum. It is very beautiful, but it is all outdoors. It is HOT here, especially when carrying a 4 1/2 year old! Within a few minutes Chris and I realized that we had been here before. It is where I purchased the jade bracelet for Lucy on our last trip. I really thought that I had purchased it in her province, but obviously I was wrong. (See yesterdays comments about my mind being a sieve. ) Just as I was exiting the gift shop where I had purchased Lucy's bracelet my new bracelet for Rita broke and fell off my arm. Great. Apparently it is not as sturdy as a bangle. Oh well. We will take it back to the states and have it worked on. It might be something I keep in the jewelry box more than on my arm.

After the museum we went to the tea house. Again, beautiful and interesting, but not to a 4 year old. It seems a shame to go to all of these interesting and historic places with 2 children. It is impossible to pay attention. But the good news is the we did get to sample tea (it all tasted like hot water to my stuffy nose) and neither one of the girls spilled hot tea on themselves. I'd call that a successful outing!

After the tea house we went back to the hotel and had "free time" for the rest of the day. When I say "free time" I mean 3 hour nap for the whole family! Rita woke up a bit before Chris and Lucy. She let me pick her up out of the crib and lay her on the bed next to me. I got to snuggle her a little. She was mostly asleep so she didn't complain. I was just happy for a little close-time with her.

She and I continue to make progress. She comes to me, smiles at me, plays with me and continues to head butt me, but still won't let me carry her around. However, she complains less and less everyday. She doesn't push me away or run from me like she did a few days ago. I am happy with this. Tonight she had I had some Rita-mommy play time while Chris was snoozing in front of the big tv. We have a box of colored pencils. She dumps them out, then puts them back in. Then dumps them out and puts them back in. Then dumps them out... We did this for about 30 minutes.

Lucy is feeling a little roughed up. (and I was worried that Rita would get roughed up by Lucy. Ha!) Tonight she got her hair pulled pretty good and she had to make a major issue about it. I think she is feeling a little jealous. She got really upset when I tried to have one-on-one time with Rita. We are trying to help her understand that we all have to work through this together as a family. Its going to take time. I think that having a crazy sleeping/eating schedule probably isn't helping her. As I type this, I am looking down at my pink, sparkly fingernails. Lucy and I did a mommy-big girl outing this evening. We got our fingernails painted. Guess who picked out the colors?

Oh, I forgot to mention that Rita is now saying her name. It is so cute! I don't think she knows that it is her name (she still thinks that she is Emily) but she says it really loud and really cute. Her voice is so raspy and funny. I think she will know herself as Rita by the time we get back home.

Tomorrow we get her TB test checked, then we go shopping on Shamien Island. This is where -they sell tons of cheap China souvenirs to sitting-duck adoptive parents. Lucy has been earning (and occasionally losing) dollars to spend all week. She is up to 46, which is roughly 6 or 7 American dollars. It will be fun to see what she selects. After the TB test is read we will be able to start using the hotel swimming pool. I am looking forward to seeing how Rita and Chris do together in the water. I have a feeling they are going to have a blast.

I will now attempt to attach a bunch of photos.

Two Days of Blog

Yesterday was our last day in Xi'an. It was long and exhausting but filled with some nice moments. We got up at 4:15? 5:30? Seriously, who is counting any more? Days and nights just get all mixed together. I spent the first 3 hours trying to fit things back into our suitcases and locate 2 missing pink shoes, 1 size 4 and the other size 8. After a nice buffet breakfast we hung out and relaxed (them) and organized (me) until noon or so. Then we planned to hit the streets for some street-vendor shopping and another stop at Starbucks. We hadn't really counted on the rain!!

We went out anyway and got quite wet! We did not accomplish our shopping goal but we did make it to the Starbucks. On the way back to our hotel I decided to stop into a hair salon to get Lucy's hair cut. Her bangs were way too long. We had a fun experience. No one spoke a lick of English but Lucy got the star treatment. She was so grown up sitting in the hair wash chair. She ended up getting a total "China girl" hair cut, which was not my intention but when in China... She looks adorable. (The whole thing cost about $5.)

Then we met up with the other family and our guide Rea (who is so awesome) to do some tourist things. The city of Xi'an is really beautiful and interesting. It has a beautiful city wall that surrounds the inner part of the city. It is HUGE. Around the outside is a moat. Between the moat and the wall is a beautiful park. I wish I could give you some interesting statistics on how old or big it is, but when it comes to that stuff my brain is a sieve. I also wish it had been sunny and beautiful while we explored the wall, but it was raining. Inside the largest tower along the wall was (of course) a series of gift shops. I wanted to get something for Rita from her province. It is traditional to get a jade bangle for the mother to wear, then pass along to her daughter. I got one for Lucy in her province. This time around I don't have jade-bangle type money, but I managed to haggle my way into a jade bracelet made with jade pieces vs. solid jade. I have no idea if I got a good deal (or it it's even really jade!) but what's done is done. It is pretty so I am happy with it.

Then we went to a very cool Muslim Mosque, surrounded by tons and tons of vendors. We toured the grounds and gardens of the Mosque which was really beautiful and interesting but again, all of this in the rain. Chris had on his cranky pants the whole time. I think that carrying Rita all of the time is really wearing on him. Last time around Chris and I had a pretty good deal going. He took care of Lucy, I took care of him. This time he is taking good care of Rita, but I have to concern myself with Lucy most of the time. He's working hard!

On the way out of the Mosque we walked (in the mud) back by all the vendors. I was dying to haggle my way into a bunch of cheap and tacky souvenirs for friends and family but the rain helped to keep my money in my pocket.

I wish we had more time to tour around Xi'an. It is a very old and interesting city. But, as I mentioned before, we are in China for a reason so we have to stay focused. After the rainy sight-seeing we gathered up all our luggage and went to the airport. The next 6 hours were spent traveling. For the most part the travel went well, but Rita did freak out a bit on the plane. We were waiting to take off and she just started to cry and point and kick. She was acting like she saw someone or something that upset her. For the first time in over 2 days she started back with "Amanda, Amanda." I wondered if she saw someone that reminded her of Amanda. Chris really struggled with her. She is extremely strong. We finally got her face down across the two of us and kept patting her back and trying to calm her. She is a good kicker. I know because I was sitting on the feet end of her! After about 15-20 minutes she finally calmed down and went to sleep. The rest of the flight was uncomfortable but uneventful.

When we landed, Lucy really needed to go pee pee! Poor thing - I could totally relate. But there was no way we were getting to a bathroom anytime soon. Being the resourceful Mom that I am, I slapped one of Rita's diapers on her and let her do her thing. Good thing she's small for a 4 year old. She was a really good sport about it!

We finally got to our Guangzhou hotel room around midnight. We were beat, especially knowing that we needed to be ready to leave the hotel again at 8:30 am to go to the medical appointment. I really want to talk a but about Rita and her progress, but I have to pause here and talk about our hotel. We stayed at this hotel a little over 3 years ago so we thought we knew what to expect. Wrong!! It has been totally updated. The rooms were nice back then, but they are amazing now! Instead of 2 small hard beds we have 2 big comfy beds. We've got a fridge, a fancy-schmancy bathroom, a decent view, lots of space for our stuff and, much to Chris's delight, a really big flat screen tv hanging on the wall directly across from one of the beds. He's a happy man.

We started our morning at the big breakfast buffet, which was even better than I remembered. It is interesting to see what Rita will and won't eat. Her staples are white rice, noodles and watermelon. Anything beyond that is a crap shoot. We also stared meeting the other families. Of the 16 families here, at least 10 have adopted "special needs." It is interesting to talk to other families and hear their story. Some of them have been logged in since late 2005!! If we had continued to wait for a "healthy" baby it could easily have been a 5 year + wait. Plus, we would not have our spicy little Rita!

After breakfast we went to the medical check, which is mostly a noisy, crowded formality. Rita screamed her head off. Poor Chris. Rita and I are making good progress, but he is still her main man - especially when she is cranky or tired. Here are the things will and will not let me do:
She LOVES to give me high-fives. If Lucy gives me one, Rita immediately wants in on the action.
She thinks that head butts are hilarious and usually doles one out when I ask for a kissy. Then she laughs.
She lets me change her diaper (usually) and change her clothes without much problem. She always lets me put on her shoes.
She lets me feed her anything sweet. And she gives me great smiles when I give her fruit snacks.
This afternoon she was feeding me little breadsticks. I don't actually like them, but I was excited that she was feeding me something!
She will let me blow raspberries on her tummy. Usually.
She will let me briefly pick her up to put her on something or take her down. But just for a moment.
She will play with me in the room even when Chris is not within view.
She will not let me push her stroller. Daddy only.
She will not let me carry her. Daddy only.
She will not let me comfort her when she is upset. Daddy only. (this bums me out.)
She will not let me snuggle with her. Daddy only.

Most of the time I am pretty unemotional about this. I guess it is because I've been here before. However, it gets to me once in a while. This evening was tough. I am tired, still sick and am the only one who doesn't get to nap during the day. Lucy was being a little anti-mommy because, as usual, I am the one who has to discipline her. The combo-platter of "we love daddy, mommy is a beast" was a little tough to take. If it wasn't for this darn cold medicine I would have seriously considered a glass of wine. or two. (I just reread this paragraph. I realize it sounds pretty whiney, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it!)

Rita is a feisty thing! She is extremely physical. Waaaay more physical than Lucy ever was. She enjoys her high-fives and her head butts. When she is happy, she is happy with her whole body. When she is upset - same thing. She throws her head back and goes at it. Or she throws herself to the ground. After all, she IS two. She has punched Lucy pretty good a couple of times. Most of the time they both end up laughing but occasionally Lucy will get upset. The funny thing is is that I had envisioned Rita to be more gentle and quiet. Not even close! I though that Lucy would be the risk-taker and Rita would be more cautions. Nope. I've got two risk-takers on my hands. I'm wondering, does God think it is funny to give two outgoing, risk taking, sassy China girls to a couple of old people? How is this going to work? I guess this is one more reminder that we have to let Him handle things because we'd be in trouble trying to do this on our own!

If I can get the computer to work I am going to post photos of the last 3 days. Tomorrow we head to some museum and then to a tea house. After that, more head butts!

Oh. My. Goodness. I just got up to look for the camera. My family is supposed to be sleeping. I switched on a light and this is what I saw. Chris is asleep. Rita is standing up in her crib with her nightgown off, except for one arm. Lucy sticks her head by the crib to see what Rita has done with her night gown, then Rita pops her on the head as hard as she can. Both girls laugh. Then Rita poops. Lord help me.
I can't find the camera. I need to sleep. Here are some photos from 2 days ago.

BIG Fun Today!!!

Look At That Smile

Lucy being a great big sister

Relaxing with BaBa

Today was a very fun day. It started out slow because I took a night time cold pill around 4 in the morning. It was very effective at knocking me out, so I wasn't functional when the family started getting up around 6. Chris did a great job of handling things. The girls took a bath together and played with their stacking cups. Afterwards, Chris let Lucy pick out clothes and get both of them dressed. I was asleep at this point, but the photos are priceless. They both looked gorgeous!

Finally around 8:30, they headed to the big breakfast buffet! I dragged my sorry, unshowered bottom down with them because I did not want Chris to be double-teamed. Rita is not one for sitting still - that is for sure! However, she did pretty well with the combo of high chair, regular chair and Chris's lap. She did get up and walk around a bit, but never very far. There was no fussing at all. She is not a huge eater, but she can put away a good amount of watermelon!

After breakfast we went back up to the room to play. We have an entire suitcase of toys so there was plenty to do. Plus, there is a big bed to jump on. Eventually it was nap time. Chris and I went down without a fight. The other two, not so much. We left them to their own devices for a bit. When I woke up, Lucy was asleep on (well, half on and half hanging off) the couch and Rita was crashed out in the stroller parked next to the couch. It was truly a funny sight. I wish I had taken a photo, but I went back to bed instead.

When Rita woke up she was a little cranky. I went to get her to bring her to the baby whisperer. Surprisingly she let me comfort her and she fell back asleep on my lap. I was pretty excited to have some snuggly time with my little princess. Finally, around 4:00 we were ready to get out there.

Our AWAA guide came by to bring us some legal paperwork. I had her write the chinese symbols for a local shopping mall and the bell tower. We took this with us and went for a walk. It was so much fun! It is a busy city and there are people everywhere. I kept a tight hold on Lucy's hand! Crossing the street is almost a death wish, but we managed it a couple of times. The Chinese are not one bit shy about staring. We are either celebrities or freaks - I'm not sure which - but people were definitely staring and talking. Many people talked to us and seemed surprised that Lucy could not speak Chinese.

We let Lucy buy a pair of earrings from a street vendor. It was pretty cute to watch. I'm still not completely comfortable with the money exchange rate, but I think we spent roughly .80 on these earrings. Since we did not spend the first 4 days with the group, we missed out on a lot of basic information like currency exchange and local tips. Yes, we were here 4 years ago but you tend to forget a lot. It was really good to be out there today on our own rather than depending on someone else to tell us where to go. We had fun checking out the street vendors and all the foods and fruits available for sale. Lots of "meat on a stick" available for purchase. We decided to stick with the hotel buffet, but we did stop at Starbucks (for us) and later at Dairy Queen (for the girls) to have a little taste of home. We never actually made it to the mall that was our original destination, but we really enjoyed our time together.

As we were walking home, Rita started singing. It was so cute! I have no idea what she was singing but we loved it. Chris and I looked at each other like "is that our baby singing?" She sure was! Then she proceeded to blow lots and lots of raspberries. According to Amanda, this is something she used to do when she was happy. We took this as a good sign.

When we got back we partook (is that a word?) in the big dinner buffet and once again, Chris let the girls have ice cream. I would put my foot down on this except that it is so cute to watch them eat it. Besides, more of it drips down their faces than actually gets to their tummies.

When we got back to the hotel I dressed the girls in their matching silk panda jammies ( or course) let them jump on the bed and took pictures. Then we broke out the play doh for a little bit, Rita quickly discovered that play doh does not taste that good. After that I put the girls to sleep, then I dug play doh out of the couch cushions.

I would say it was a really good day. Even though she still clearly prefers Chris to me, I still got lots of kisses and smiles from her, She even followed me around a few times. It is so funny to me how Lucy's preference of Chris hurt me so much but Rita's preference does not bother me one bit. I'm just glad to see her smiling and happy!

Thanks to everyone for your blog comments. They really help me and keep me going. I am so blessed to have so many AWESOME people in my life. I am not able to respond to the comments because I can't get to my blog, but Ana has been sending them to me. I know you all probably have better things to do than follow my blog! I really appreciate the comments because it makes me feel like I have friends coming along on the journey with me.

A MUCH Better Day!!!!

Our Family Of 4!!!

Rita In The Tub - That's Lucy's Foot

Rita & Chris in the van

Chris & Rita looking at the Terra Cota Warriors

Terra Cota Warrior Exhibit

I am married to the baby-whisperer. Despite having no younger siblings and never having changed a diaper until Lucy, he really has a way with babies! Rita woke up in our bed (strange surroundings for her) and was a bit cranky about it for a while. We tried to woo her with Nei Hoa Kai Lan, but with little success. I tried stacking cups and coloring books with little success . Finally we broke out the Kashi cereal. This girl really responds to food! It didn't take long for Chris to have her happy and laughing! I went upstairs to see about a stroller for our excursion. When I came back, all three of them were rocking out to the Wiggles. Did anyone know that the Wiggles recorded a version of "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" with Leo Sayer? Seriously - I could hardly believe it!

Our plan was to meet the other family at their hotel at 9, then take a van to the Terra Cotta warriors. Neither Chris nor I slept more than 3 hours last night so Chris was not feeling inspired. I, on the other hand, felt that we needed to take our chances and get out there.

The rest of the day was deja vu - almost. Rita is suddenly very attached to Chris. It is completely adorable. He is so cute with her. When I was watching him with her on the bus today I thought my heart was going to explode. He is truly amazing with her. The only BIG difference between this and our situation with Lucy is that I am not the least bit bothered by her preference towards him. I am absolutely thrilled that she is bonding with him. She clearly prefers him over me, however she is no longer violent towards me. If I pick her up I get a few seconds of love, then she starts to whimper for him. Fine with me!! I know it is only a matter of days before she comes to me on her own. Finally - we are becoming a family!!

The Terra Cotta Warriors are wicked cool! We really enjoyed the day and Chris admits that he is glad we took the chance on going out. Our guide, Rea, did a great job of showing us everything and telling us about the warriors, without dragging us to a million places and reading some boring script. I think we were there about 2.5 house, which was perfect.

When we got back to the hotel, Chris was practically drooling. His need for room service, breakfast buffet, privacy and most importantly, a television in the bedroom had finally surfaced. He REALLY wanted us to stay in the hotel for our last 2 nights in Xi'an. They just happened to have a king suite available at a decent price. Since Chris is sure to get a good workout carrying our 24 pound angel, I gave in and agreed that we could move to the hotel. After we got lunch, I took a taxi back to our original accommodations to get everything packed up (no easy task!) and take it all to the hotel. I have to admit that it feels good to be together as a family with privacy. I was getting a little tired of trying to get Lucy to use her "inside voice" when we were all awake in the middle of the night. Those of you who know Lucy know that she doesn't actually have an inside voice!

We had a great time giving the girls a bath together. Rita, breaking Lucy in as a big sister, promptly pooped in the tub. Hilarious! Afterwards they aboth ran around the hotel room naked. The are currently crashed out wearing matching panda pajamas. Adorable!

I expect that 1 or both of them will be awake by 4, so I had better get some sleep! I am so happy to report a good day and I am really looking forward to tomorrow!

Today was a really tough and emotional day. Before I start talking about the day, I want to talk about Rita (who we are calling "Emily" right now to help with the transition.) so that when I start to complain about this miserable day you won't think that I don't really love this child or know in my heart that there will be better days.

Rita is beautiful and strong and feisty and outspoken. She has the most adorable deep, throaty voice. She is very physical and active. During the moments that she relaxes with us she is very expressive with her laugh. She is not the little girl that was described on her paperwork, but she is amazing. And the fact that she loves Amanda with such passion is just an indication of her ability to attach and to love. I really look forward to the day that she accepts us as her family and we can really get to know her.

That being said, today was miserable. We had an appointment at the civil affairs office at 9 to officially accept her as our daughter (they give you a 24 hour "trial period.") Amanda came with us which I appreciated since we can't really navigate China that well, but also was kind of surprised by. She held Rita the entire time. So I showed up to the appointment with someone else (not my husband) is holding our daughter. The other family, whose little girl was screaming yesterday, was there as well. Sarah Beth, the little girl, was sitting happily on her mommy's lap. The appointment was long and stressful. On top of being really hungry since we didn't have breakfast, being stressed, being emotional in general, then extra emotional that my baby hates me, we showed up with the wrong money. We were told to bring U.S. dollars. Apparently our agency told people during the Beijing portion of the trip if they needed to exchange money. Since we did not go to Beijing, we did not get the information. So, like idiots, we are standing there with the wrong money while some other lady is holding our baby. The whole thing was a mess, at least to me. Chris was pretty busy trying to keep Lucy occupied. She is doing well, but she is definitely regressing a bit and demanding extra attention. That was not particularly welcome in front of a bunch of Chinese officials. When it came time to do Rita's footprint, Amanda held her and did her footprint. I stood there like an idiot who can't hold her own baby.

After the paperwork we all took a bus ride to have some photos done. When it was time for me to take Rita for her photo, she screamed her head off. As soon as the photo was done, she went right back to Amanda. It was so obvious that Rita had not bonded with is that our agency guide asked us if Rita had spent the night with Amanda or with us. She was inquiring on behalf of the adoption official who was voicing concern. He continued to voice concern on the cab ride back.

Amanda and I both agreed that things were not going as we had hoped. Rita is not warming up to us as quickly as we thought. While this is really hard on us, I know it is hard on Amanda as well. We spent the rest of the day trying to interact with Rita so that she would be ready to spend the night with us. We had some good moments and some tough moments. Chris stepped in in the afternoon and had some fun time with Lucy, Rita and Amanda. I will post some photos of this. It was really cute. I had to take a few minutes away to decompress. I am tired, frustrated, sick and emotional. Trying to get a two year old to love you is exhausting. Being hit and kicked and run away from by this same 2 year old is heartbreaking.

We had planned to take a trip to the Muslim Market in the evening. We just couldn't make it happen. We are all too tired. I hate that we are in China but not really experiencing China, but as Chris and I discussed, we are here for a purpose.

Lucy got really, really upset when we did not go to the Muslim Market. We were planning to go with the 3 volunteers who are staying in this same apartment. Lucy calls them "the sisters." They are 3 women in their early 20's and Lucy really likes them. She was sooooo disappointed not to go out with the sisters. I felt really bad about this because I could hear the sadness in her voice. Instead, Lucy and Mommy went to the playgound together in the drizzle and had some special time together. It was AWESOME to spend one on one time with Lucy and play together. It seems that I've had to reel her in a lot the past couple of days and I know she is frustrated with me. As much as I did not enjoy being out in the drizzle and chill, I really had fun with my Lucy. I just kept reminding myself that she did not like me at first either. Earlier in the day I had a little mini-breakdown. Lucy came over and gave me a big kiss and asked me what was wrong. I told her that mommy was tired and needed a few moments alone. She said "okay, but I am going to come back in a minute and kiss your whole face to make you feel better." She is so special.

The plan for this evening was to bring Rita's crib down into our room. The crib doesn't actually fit out the doorway so that did not happen. Instead, Lucy and Chris went upstairs with Rita and Amanda while I did laundry, dishes and worked on my expense report for work. (Hang on Mary - i'm working on it!) Chris tells me that Lucy and Rita had some good interaction. Eventually Lucy and Amanda fell asleep on the couch while Rita crashed in a bouncy seat. I went up around 9 and brought the crew back down to bed. Chris carried Rita down in the bouncy seat. She woke up about 1:00 am and got pretty upset. She won't let me comfort her. she just pushes me away and cries "Amanda, Amanda." I just laid there with her and watcher her cry. I tried to rub her back but she pushes my arm away. I tried to change her diaper but she wasn't having it. She is strong!! Chris went and go her a bottle but she wasn't interested. Finally she fell asleep around 2:00.

So now I should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be tough as well. Chris and I both agree that we can't let Rita spend any time with Amanda. We hate that, but it seems like the only thing we can do. Rita is not going to be a happy girl.

I also want to thank everyone who has sent encouraging emails and blog comments. I cannot get to my blog, but my wonderful friend Ana forwarded them via email. I really appreciate the prayers. That is exactly what we need right now! Prayers for Rita's heart. Prayers for my health to hang in there. And prayers for me and Chris to stay strong. I also want to thank my friend Heather who commented on the blog that we were "brave" to do the transition this way. I hadn't thought of it like that and that comment really helped me. I am certainly not feeling brave, but hopefully this is making the emotional transition better for Rita in the long run. Nobody ever said that adoption was easy. I think it must be like childbirth. You forget how hard it is so you do it again!

Tomorrow we will have progress. I am sure of it.

Adoption - Not for the faint of heart

Today was our gotcha day. This means that we officially became a family of 4. The process involves meeting at the civil affairs office, meeting your child and having photos taken for legal documents. Because we are not staying at the hotel designated by our agency, we had to take a cab ride to the civil affairs office. A cab ride in China rivals ANY thrill ride you have ever been on. I don't even know how to describe it except to say that comparatively, a cab ride in Cancun is like a Sunday stroll. Seriously, it is a miracle that no one died.

After a bit of confusion about the location we finally found our way. Funny thing about China - if you're lost, you are really lost. It's not just that the signs are in Chinese, it's that they don't even use the same alphabet. Trying to compare the address on my sticky note to addresses on buildings wasn't even an option. So anyway, we eventually got there.

Here's what I have to say about the experience. We agreed with Amanda, who runs this amazing foster home, that it would be so great for us to get to know Rita gradually in her home environment. This is an opportunity that not many people ever get. A traditional Chinese adoption is more of a "snatch and grab" where the child is removed from her caretaker, taken away on a bus, then given to the new parents. Parents understand that the child may go through some mourning or attachment issues but they have very little, if any, information about the child's previous environment. We are staying on the first floor of an apartment building that also houses the foster home is on the 5th floor, so we are very close. Even though we were not to see Rita prior to the adoption, we did experience the environment and met many of the other children. All of the children were very affectionate at wanting of our attention. They are all very special and very beautiful, but our hearts belong to Rita.

The meeting was smooth, especially because we already have a good relationship with Amanda. We really like her and appreciate what she is doing for us. She and Rita (known here as "Emily") have a very special bond. She was with Rita in Shanghai for 44 days during her surgery and recovery. They are very close and Rita obviously loves Amanda a lot. I am grateful for that and so happy that my child had been in a loving environment for the past 18 months.

We met, made faces at her, fed her M & M's (which she loves!), tickled her and gave her kisses. But Amanda was holding her the entire time. We took a bus to the photo place and Amanda was holder her. Amanda held her while she got her passport photo taken. The only time we held her was for our family photo, and she screamed the entire time. (as did Lucy on her adoption day.) Then we all went to Baskin Robins for ice cream to celebrate. Rita enjoyed the chocolate ice cream while sitting on Amanda's lap.

Let me add that there was another family from our agency who as also meeting their 2 year old girl for the first time. She screamed and cried through the whole thing. It was the most heart-breaking cry. My heart was bleeding for that couple. But at least they were holding their baby.

When we got back to the foster home we spent more time getting to know her. She is absolutely amazing and beautiful and funny and we love her already. She has shown signs of warming up to us, but whenever either of us try to hold her she screams for Amanda, then goes back to Amanda. Tonight is our first night as a family. The three of us are sleeping in our apartment and Rita is sleeping upstairs in the foster home.

I believe we are doing the right thing for her, and I am grateful to Amanda for how much she really cares our little girl's heart. But right now my heart feels so broken. It's the same way I felt when Lucy completely rejected me. But at least Lucy was attached to Chris. It is the hardest thing to finally meet your child, then watch them continually reject you and turn to someone else. It makes it even harder to accept when all the other children in the foster home want you to hold them, but your own daughter runs away from you. Again, I know it will all be great in the end. It's just really hard right now. I just realized that today was our "gotcha day" and there is not one single photo of Me, Chris and Rita all together. (except the legal photo where she is screaming her head off.)

I do want to say that there were some really fun moments at Baskin Robins where Rita got off of Amanda's lap and went to play with Lucy and Chris. The two girls were absolutely adorable together. I think they are going to be great friends. (Lucy said to me today "She doesn't like you Mom. She likes me better." Ouch)

And one other interesting thing - the description that we were given of her personality indicated a quiet, content, gentle personality. Not hardly!! This little girl is definitely strong-willed and outspoken! Amanda laughed when I told her how Rita was described. We both agreed that the description must have been written by someone who has never met her! So, now I have two beautiful, strong-willed, outgoing Asian girls. Oh boy!! I don't think that Rita will have the flair for the dramatic that Lucy has, but she seems to be very confident. Amanda thinks she will be athletic. I can definitely see that.

I am heading to bed. Trying to make a 2-year-old love you is completely exhausting. I will get up and try again tomorrow.

Rita enjoying chocolate ice cream

Lucy, Amanda, Rita, Teresa and a lady from the orphanage

Lucy & Rita at the civil affairs office

The girls going for a ride with BaBa

Bye Bye bows!